Jenny Pena, NBC-HWC

How losing my aunt helped me find a renewed purpose and gratitude, discovering the resilience within

Grief is a universal experience, yet it feels deeply personal when it hits. As a health coach, I have helped clients incorporate habits to manage stress, grief, loss in a way that they can honor their emotions and feelings without impacting their health in a negative way. Recently, I lost my dear aunt; she was in her 80’s and lived an amazing life. She experienced deep, true love with her longtime husband; had a large family with 8 kids, and many grand and great-grand kids. And while she did not have lots of wealth and physical possessions her life was full of joy.

Her kindness was unique; she was a woman of integrity and always offered hope to everyone around her. I remember how she would rush to brew some coffee or get a snack ready every time I would come to visit; how she would give me love advice or highlight something funny that may have happened that day.

While losing her was not a sudden event, as her health was deteriorating for a while, it still shook me to the core. Nevertheless, this event has given me the opportunity to experience personally the power of gratitude and kindness to yourself while going through grief and how emotional resilience plays a key role.

Understanding Grief

Grief is not a linear process. It comes in waves, catching you off guard at times, and yet it’s a natural and essential response to loss. One moment you feel peace and the next, a surge of sadness. And that’s okay.

In the past couple of days, I have struggled with feelings of emptiness or lack; kind of wondering if there is something missing in my life that I should strive for. I also had this longing to go back in time and reminisce about my own life path and decisions, am I following the right path? What would have happened if…?.

But now, I realized something powerful: while grief is a reflection of the love we had for someone, it can also be a pathway to growth and deeper emotional resilience as well as self-reflection. Admiring her own path and life has provoked me to look inside and assess my own life path and think about goals that I should plan for and continue to build my own legacy and history that maybe others can look up to.

This has opened my eyes to new ways of processing grief and here I am sharing a few that I found helpful and will share with my clients as well.

How to Properly Process Grief

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
   Grief is not something you can “push through” or ignore. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, or confusion without judgment. Journaling has been a helpful tool for me—writing down my emotions allowed me to process them without bottling them up and also summarizing the life lessons I learned through my aunt’s life.
2. Create Space for Reflection
   I started dedicating quiet moments to reflect on my aunt’s life and what she meant to me. This helped me honor her memory while also finding closure. Whether it’s through meditation, creating a photo album, or lighting a candle in their memory, find your own way to reflect.
3. Seek Support
   Talking to someone you trust can help lighten the emotional load. For me, it was conversations with close friends and family. If you are going through grief and feel you need additional support, reaching out to a counselor or coach can help.
4. Practice Gratitude
   This step changed everything for me. Instead of focusing solely on the loss, I began listing the ways my aunt enriched my life. I wrote down lessons she taught me, memories that made me laugh, and qualities of hers that I now carry forward. Gratitude doesn’t erase the pain, but it shifts your perspective and helps you find beauty even in difficult times.
5. Take Care of Yourself
   Grief can be physically exhausting. Eating well, staying hydrated, and moving your body gently can go a long way in helping you cope. I found grounding in enjoying a good cup of tea and long walks—this gave me time to breathe and reconnect with myself.

Shifting Grief Into Growth

One of the most powerful realizations I had during this journey was that grief, when approached with intention, can lead to emotional growth. It’s an opportunity to build resilience—the ability to bounce back and adapt to life’s challenges. By focusing on gratitude, you can shift from dwelling on what you’ve lost to appreciating what you’ve gained.

I now see my aunt’s legacy as a source of strength. Her kindness, joy, and resilience live on in me, and I strive to honor her by incorporating those qualities into my daily life. This mindset shift has not only helped me heal but has also given me tools to navigate future challenges with greater emotional strength.

Are You Navigating Grief or Stress? Let’s Build Resilience Together

If you’re struggling with grief or stress, you don’t have to go through it alone. Processing emotions and building resilience are skills that can transform how you face life’s hardships.

I offer a special 1-hour Emotional Wellness Assessment Session to help you:

• Understand your current emotional challenges.
• Identify actionable steps to process grief or stress effectively.
• Create a personalized plan to build resilience and shift towards gratitude.

Let’s work together to turn your pain into strength and your loss into growth.

👉 Book a Free Discovery Call Here to learn more about the assessment and how we can navigate this journey together.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. You have the strength to grow through this, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.